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America's Finest News Source.

U.S. Facing Santa Shortage

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The U.S. is facing a nationwide shortage of Santa Claus performers due to labor shortages—as well as health and safety concerns over Covid-19—while demand is up 120% from pre-pandemic levels. What do you think?

“If Santa can be a mop with a red hat, we’ve got plenty.”

Ruth Cotnoir, Systems Analyst

“Yeah, I found another gig willing to pay me for being sat on.”

Dexter Rakoff • Psychedelic Music Dealer

“Just loosen up the laws concerning who’s allowed near children.”

Jay Forde • Yeoman