First U.S. Malaria Cases Diagnosed In Decades In Florida, Texas

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The CDC has confirmed that five cases of malaria have been discovered in Florida and Texas, the first time the potentially fatal mosquito-borne disease has been locally acquired in the United States in 20 years. What do you think?

“Really takes the enjoyment out of being bitten by a mosquito.”

Quinn Moller, Shoelace Inspector

“We can just put the malaria on a bus and ship it to Massachusetts.”

Chase Dickinson, Sand Trap Raker


“Thankfully, there’s already a vaccine for me to refuse.”

Pablo Mendez, Seatbelt Engineer