U.S. Plagued By Widespread Website Crashes After Mouse Gets Into Internet

SAN JOSE, CA—Constantly evading frustrated domain hosts’ attempts to trap and remove the pest, many of the nation’s websites began crashing Friday after a mouse got into the internet. “We don’t know where exactly he is, but we know that little bastard is in there somewhere chewing through lines of code, so let us know if he shows up on a website you’re browsing,” said exterminator Mike Ortega, who noted the mouse was first found sleeping behind a CNN Money article, but had apparently been tearing apart algorithms and hyperlinks on the internet for days. “We thought we had him trapped in magnoliawinebar.com, but he slipped out through a web portal. We know he’s still in there because you can hear him scurrying through banner ads, and he’s been leaving droppings in a bunch of email inboxes. Half the internet could be unusable soon, so just as a precaution, you should try putting up a few cat photos on any websites you use to scare him away.” At press time, the mouse had been caught after customers browsing hardcoretees.com reported a funny smell coming from the site.

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