Simmering tensions in Ukraine have escalated in recent days as Russia launched several military attacks, leading to fears that a larger war is imminent. The Onion offers a primer to help understand the current situation in Ukraine.
1. Decommissioned nuclear silo turned borscht storage
2. NATO observation lounge
3. Coastal resort with extremely affordable rates right now
4. Site where reporters getting kickass b-roll of Russian tanks
5. Embroidered region
6. Only decent taco place in the whole damn country
7. The next GOP talking point
8. Convoy of Russian troops “just checking out the local scenery”
9. Separatist region
10. Separatist-ish region
11. Separatist-curious region
12. Current U.S. territory that the U.S. would invade if it voted for independence
13. Arsenal of Peacekeeping Explosives
14. Birthplace of man landlord sent over to fix pipes
15. Future site of first drop of American blood