Unexpected Crunch Prompts Woman To Take Roll Call Of Teeth With Tip Of Tongue

Illustration for article titled Unexpected Crunch Prompts Woman To Take Roll Call Of Teeth With Tip Of Tongue

SAN DIEGO—Moments after she sat down to enjoy a warm bowl of fettuccine with homemade tomato sauce, a sudden and unexpected crunching sensation prompted area woman Meg Stanton to stop and take a careful roll call of her teeth with the tip of her tongue, sources reported Wednesday. “Oh, fuck, was that part of my tooth?” Stanton reportedly said to herself, her heart pounding as she spat her pasta back into the bowl and quickly ran her tongue along the surfaces of each incisor, canine, premolar, and molar to check for any cracks or holes and ensure each tooth was present and accounted for. “Let’s see—one, two, three, four. No, all the molars on that side are still there. And I’m not feeling any rough edges or bare gums anywhere else. That hurt like hell, though. And it was loud! Did a bone get in there or something? Yuck.” According to sources, Stanton dove back in and finished her meal after searching the bowl and discovering that the rock-hard object was indeed a tooth, but clearly one belonging to someone else.