Astronomers determined that the universe is actually 13.8 billion years old, about 80 to 100 million years older than previously believed, and that it is also a bit wider than once thought. What do you think?

“How embarrassing.”
Victoria Rosegard • Street Cleaner

“Typical. You give birth to a few trillion galaxies and then people just talk about how old and fat you’ve gotten.”
Francois Jenevein • Hide Trimmer

“Just like it says in Leviticus.”
Chris Vanderhorst • Systems Analyst