MINNEAPOLIS—Citing the poor quality of both the design and craftsmanship, members of the Hunter family told reporters Friday that the home’s versatile game table could be easily converted to play small, shitty versions of pool, air hockey, and foosball. “Right now it’s a tiny, cramped foosball table, but if you want to play air hockey on a chintzy rink that doesn’t blow any air at all, then all you have to do is just flip it right over,” said Jeffrey Hunter, 14, noting that the miserable excuse for an air hockey table came equipped with two strikers too small to grip properly and a single puck the size of a casino chip. “It’s got a cheap pool table component that comes with 18-inch billiard cues and shitty miniature balls that are impossible to hit accurately, so you can also play a game that barely resembles pool. This table’s got whatever you might want to play for two minutes before getting completely frustrated and stopping.” At press time, the table’s foosball component had reportedly become even shittier after the missing soccer ball was replaced with the eight ball.
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