Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

We may earn a commission from links on this page.
Start Slideshow
Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

The Onion provides in-depth coverage of how voters are “legally” intimidated, disenfranchised, and discriminated against at the state level.

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

Alabama

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

Must show proof of Republican Party registration in order to cast a ballot

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

Alaska

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

Voters forced to swim upstream to polling place

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

Arizona

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

Voters must chug and successfully flip their cup onto the table before a member of opposing party does in order for their ballot to count

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

Arkansas

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

Haven’t bothered with elections since Bill Clinton

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

6 / 52

California

California

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

Residents willing to pay $300 per day to receive voting line fast pass

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

Colorado

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

Steep slopes, bumps, and tree hazards directly in front of polling places

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

8 / 52

Connecticut

Connecticut

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

Jacket required

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

Delaware

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

No one lives here

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

Florida

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

No good place to set down daiquiris within five miles of most polling locations

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

Georgia

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

Minorities deterred from voting by ominous banjo sound

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

Hawaii

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

Voting turnout greatly diminished by the enigmatic draw of the ocean calling on residents to leave the voting lines and ride the waves

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

Idaho

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

In recognition of those such as undocumented immigrants, felons, the homeless, and others who are deprived of their right to have a democratic say in their lives, everyone from Idaho collectively abstains from voting in every election

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

14 / 52

Illinois

Illinois

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

Monetary bribes must be postmarked on or before election day

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

Indiana

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

Signature on ballots must match God’s

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

Iowa

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

You think there’s voter suppression in Iowa? Think again. Iowa is a democratic paradise, the only place on earth where people live in peace and harmony with their fellow man, an egalitarian utopia not even Thomas More himself could have ever dreamed of

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

Kansas

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

Polling places in Democratic districts staffed by tornadoes

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

18 / 52

Kentucky

Kentucky

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

Slowest voters to arrive at polling place euthanized with shotgun

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

19 / 52

Louisiana

Louisiana

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

Voters’ tits must match tits on ID

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

Maine

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

Voters’ hands rubber-banded together for safe handling

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

21 / 52

Maryland

Maryland

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

Officials dump everyone’s ballots right onto the table in a pile of steaming corn, crabs, and potatoes

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

22 / 52

Massachusetts

Massachusetts

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

Voters must be able to have Sully vouch for them that they’re good for it

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

23 / 52

Michigan

Michigan

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

No laws, though a few guys are going to show up with guns and an American flag attached to a sword

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

24 / 52

Minnesota

Minnesota

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

Illegal to free someone from block of ice in order to vote

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

25 / 52

Mississippi

Mississippi

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

State’s only polling places located in year 1932

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

26 / 52

Missouri

Missouri

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

Any individual attempting to enter a polling booth is shot on sight

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

Montana

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

The state gives residents the option of having votes counted or taxidermied and hung on wall

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

28 / 52

Nebraska

Nebraska

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

Tall prairie grass allowed to intimidate voters at polls

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

Nevada

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

Ballots must be dropped off in person in a stripper’s G-string

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

30 / 52

New Hampshire

New Hampshire

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

Voters must show photo ID verifying cragginess

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

31 / 52

New Jersey

New Jersey

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

Restrictions on felons disenfranchise 90% of electorate

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

32 / 52

New Mexico

New Mexico

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

Must show at least two forms of turquoise to prove residence

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

33 / 52

New York

New York

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

Someone pissed in the fucking ballot box

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

34 / 52

North Carolina

North Carolina

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

Residents must go through a 90-minute timeshare presentation and registration in order to vote

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

35 / 52

North Dakota

North Dakota

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

Polling places deliberately placed in path of combine harvesters

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

Ohio

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

Shame at having to witness other living, breathing Ohioans is voter suppression enough

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

37 / 52

Oklahoma

Oklahoma

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

Voting is strictly prohibited under penalty of death

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

Oregon

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

Voters required to overcome deep-seated mistrust in very idea of representative government

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

39 / 52

Pennsylvania

Pennsylvania

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

All voters required to present at least one bone from attendee of 1787 Constitutional Convention

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

40 / 52

Rhode Island

Rhode Island

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

Nearest polling places located in Massachusetts or New York

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

41 / 52

South Carolina

South Carolina

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

They don’t take too kindly to the democratic process ’round here

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

42 / 52

South Dakota

South Dakota

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

Must cast ballot at Mount Rushmore directly into Abraham Lincoln’s mouth

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

43 / 52

Tennessee

Tennessee

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

ID and Dollywood ticket stub must be presented at polling place

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

Texas

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

Voters must finish a 72-ounce T-bone in under an hour for their vote to count

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

Utah

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

Sacred red, white, and blue undergarments required for election day

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

Vermont

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

Only white people here, so not necessary

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

47 / 52

Virginia

Virginia

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

Voting banned as it is considered part of Critical Race Theory

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

48 / 52

Washington

Washington

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

Majority of wildlife still not eligible to vote

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

49 / 52

West Virginia

West Virginia

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

Voting considered a public nuisance punishable by up to $1,000 fine

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

50 / 52

Wisconsin

Wisconsin

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

Polling places don’t start serving alcohol until noon

Advertisement
Previous Slide
Next Slide

Wyoming

Image for article titled Voter Suppression Laws In Every State

Must show two forms of shotgun

Advertisement