
The Onion provides in-depth coverage of how voters are “legally” intimidated, disenfranchised, and discriminated against at the state level.
The Onion provides in-depth coverage of how voters are “legally” intimidated, disenfranchised, and discriminated against at the state level.
2 / 52
Must show proof of Republican Party registration in order to cast a ballot
3 / 52
Voters forced to swim upstream to polling place
4 / 52
Voters must chug and successfully flip their cup onto the table before a member of opposing party does in order for their ballot to count
5 / 52
Haven’t bothered with elections since Bill Clinton
6 / 52
Residents willing to pay $300 per day to receive voting line fast pass
7 / 52
Steep slopes, bumps, and tree hazards directly in front of polling places
8 / 52
Jacket required
9 / 52
No one lives here
10 / 52
No good place to set down daiquiris within five miles of most polling locations
11 / 52
Minorities deterred from voting by ominous banjo sound
12 / 52
Voting turnout greatly diminished by the enigmatic draw of the ocean calling on residents to leave the voting lines and ride the waves
13 / 52
In recognition of those such as undocumented immigrants, felons, the homeless, and others who are deprived of their right to have a democratic say in their lives, everyone from Idaho collectively abstains from voting in every election
14 / 52
Monetary bribes must be postmarked on or before election day
15 / 52
Signature on ballots must match God’s
16 / 52
You think there’s voter suppression in Iowa? Think again. Iowa is a democratic paradise, the only place on earth where people live in peace and harmony with their fellow man, an egalitarian utopia not even Thomas More himself could have ever dreamed of
17 / 52
Polling places in Democratic districts staffed by tornadoes
18 / 52
Slowest voters to arrive at polling place euthanized with shotgun
19 / 52
Voters’ tits must match tits on ID
20 / 52
Voters’ hands rubber-banded together for safe handling
21 / 52
Officials dump everyone’s ballots right onto the table in a pile of steaming corn, crabs, and potatoes
22 / 52
Voters must be able to have Sully vouch for them that they’re good for it
23 / 52
No laws, though a few guys are going to show up with guns and an American flag attached to a sword
24 / 52
Illegal to free someone from block of ice in order to vote
25 / 52
State’s only polling places located in year 1932
26 / 52
Any individual attempting to enter a polling booth is shot on sight
27 / 52
The state gives residents the option of having votes counted or taxidermied and hung on wall
28 / 52
Tall prairie grass allowed to intimidate voters at polls
29 / 52
Ballots must be dropped off in person in a stripper’s G-string
30 / 52
Voters must show photo ID verifying cragginess
31 / 52
Restrictions on felons disenfranchise 90% of electorate
32 / 52
Must show at least two forms of turquoise to prove residence
33 / 52
Someone pissed in the fucking ballot box
34 / 52
Residents must go through a 90-minute timeshare presentation and registration in order to vote
35 / 52
Polling places deliberately placed in path of combine harvesters
36 / 52
Shame at having to witness other living, breathing Ohioans is voter suppression enough
37 / 52
Voting is strictly prohibited under penalty of death
38 / 52
Voters required to overcome deep-seated mistrust in very idea of representative government
39 / 52
All voters required to present at least one bone from attendee of 1787 Constitutional Convention
40 / 52
Nearest polling places located in Massachusetts or New York
41 / 52
They don’t take too kindly to the democratic process ’round here
42 / 52
Must cast ballot at Mount Rushmore directly into Abraham Lincoln’s mouth
43 / 52
ID and Dollywood ticket stub must be presented at polling place
44 / 52
Voters must finish a 72-ounce T-bone in under an hour for their vote to count
45 / 52
Sacred red, white, and blue undergarments required for election day
46 / 52
Only white people here, so not necessary
47 / 52
Voting banned as it is considered part of Critical Race Theory
48 / 52
Majority of wildlife still not eligible to vote
49 / 52
Voting considered a public nuisance punishable by up to $1,000 fine
50 / 52
Polling places don’t start serving alcohol until noon
51 / 52
Must show two forms of shotgun
52 / 52