ALEXANDRIA, VA—Calling the situation “an imminent threat,” watchdog groups nationwide urged casual dining establishment Bob Evans to create an emergency plan in case Donald Trump refuses to leave, sources confirmed Friday. “We must take the president at his word when he suggests he has no intention of leaving the restaurant after his meal is complete,” said ACLU spokesperson Lee Porter, calling on those in charge of the franchise to come up with a clear strategy on how best to remove Trump if he won’t freely give up his booth. “Unfortunately, Bob Evans has long relied on societal norms instead of strict legality to govern diners’ actions, which could allow a corrupt patron like Trump to take advantage. As closing time nears, we expect the president to sow confusion with false claims that he ordered his burger without a pickle or that his appetizer never arrived. If we do nothing and he’s able to convince enough diners, and ultimately get the waitstaff to heel, Bob Evans as we know it may be at an end.” Porter closed his remarks by urging those in power to act now by refusing to refill the president’s water glass and placing the check face down in front of him on the table.
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