NEW YORK—In a journalistic dispatch posted on the news agency’s website, Associated Press reporter Will Jarvis wrote the words “Watermelon gazpacho is a great starter for summer parties” on Monday in an article that will not be winning a Pulitzer Prize this year. “For a refreshing start to a summer get-together that will help guests stay cool in the sun, watermelon gazpacho makes for a fun and inspired party appetizer,” wrote the reporter, who has no hope of being awarded a 2023 Pulitzer Prize for National Reporting, International Reporting, or Public Service, and who—while other reporters were stationed in bombarded cities in Ukraine or crawling through corpse-laden streets in Syria—has instead decided to describe how one could garnish gazpacho with “pepitas” to add a satisfying crunch. “This fun summer twist on a Spanish classic will have all of your guests asking for the recipe. Buen provecho!” At press time, sources confirmed the reporter was especially unlikely to receive his industry’s most distinguished accolade because he was supposed to be reporting on the nationwide fallout from the overturning of Roe v. Wade.
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