We woke up feeling good today, gamers. Maybe it’s the nice weather. Maybe it’s the vacation we have planned next month. Or maybe it’s just that things have generally been looking up lately. Either way, we’re feeling magnanimous, and ah, what the hell—we want to do something nice for you.
Are you ready for this? Well, here it goes: Anyone who has a smart fridge is now a gamer.
You heard us right. If you own a refrigerator that has a little screen and hooks up to your Wi-Fi, then, well, welcome to the tribe! Whether you’ve got an LG InstaView or a Samsung Family Hub, you’re now one of us. Every time you use your phone to check your freezer’s temperature, you may as well be playing Doom Eternal on an Xbox Series X as far as we’re concerned.
What’s up with this sudden bout of generosity, you may ask? Well, our son just got straight As for one. And on top of that, we got a $5000 raise thanks to our recent performance review. With our fortunes trending upwards like this, who are we to be miserly about bestowing the title of gamer? You have to give in order to receive after all. In fact, we like the idea of a big tent, and if we have to loosen up our standards a little bit to let some more people in, so be it.
You know what? Fuck it. If you own a smart oven, you’re a gamer, too!
It feels good to give back, doesn’t it? You know, in the past, we would’ve laughed at the idea of a smart appliance user claiming they know what it’s like to hang with the big dogs, but that type of gatekeeping only seeks to divide us. As Mother Theresa said, you gotta spread love everywhere you go. And sometimes, it takes a day like this to remind you of that.
So game on, fridge owners. Game on.