All right, that’s it, folks! After extensive conversation among the experts at the Onion Gamer’s Network Decision Desk, we are officially calling New Hampshire for gamers.
We’ve seen enough: The Granite State is for gamers, by gamers, and all about gamers.
Although we only have reports from 60% of polling stations at this point, our analysts can tell us with a high degree of certainty that New Hampshire is a statistical certainty to go for gamers tonight. This is particularly clear if you look at the makeup of the remaining uncounted districts, which are all from video game–friendly areas. Most of these communities have at least one Secretlab Omega gaming chair per household and rank traditional gamer values like support for LAN Parties and subsidies for guarana-based beverages as the most important issues to them and their loved ones.
Needless to say, this is a sea change of the nationwide landscape for gamers. Yes, we saw some seeds of this in 2012 when areas around Baltimore saw higher Xbox enthusiasts in the so-called Green Tsunami, but it seemed that the promise of a fully gaming-forward New Hampshire was always going to be a pipe dream for video game fans.
Gamers, that dream has now become a reality.
Now, is this a surprise? Not necessarily. Sure, there was worry that infighting among PlayStation and Switch gamers would split the vote and serve as a spoiler for tonight’s results. But these console fanboys and fangirls were able to come together to form a multi-coalition gaming bloc, stringing together a big tent along with mobile gamers and casuals that’s allowed video gaming to take New Hampshire by storm.
Frankly, it’s a relief for us at OGN to end the long nights of pounding MTN Dew Major Melon to stay up late for result-tallying and finally say, definitively, that New Hampshire has gone for gamers. And, of course, as much as we strive to keep our process objective, it’s important to admit that many of us were actually pulling for gamers to emerge triumphant today. Certainly, this paves the way for a bold gaming agenda over the next few years.
We’ll get back to you in three weeks when these results are certified by the gaming judges. But it’s worthwhile to take a moment to truly appreciate the magnitude of what’s happened tonight. Because it’s big, gamers. Really big.