Website Offers Porn To Passengers Trapped On Quarantined Cruise Ship

In an effort to ease fear and alleviate boredom, the pornography site CamSoda is offering free webcam sessions to the 3,700 passengers and crew trapped aboard the Diamond Princess, a cruise ship that has been quarantined for nearly a week after 135 guests tested positive for coronavirus. What do you think?

“The onboard entertainment must be pretty bad then, huh?”

Dion Aleman • Guitar Tuner

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“Premium pornography is a classic remedy that my family has used for generations.”

Stacy Hill • Zamboni Mechanic

“Sorry, but as a Christian, I believe that man was only meant to ejaculate on land.”

Roy Luna • Junior Loan Officer

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