RANCHO PALOS VERDES, CA—Commenting on the many “interesting choices” for the special day, local mother Patricia Kenny announced Wednesday that “at least you had fun” in the most devastating takedown of her daughter’s wedding yet. “You know, honey, it’s definitely not how I would have wanted to celebrate the biggest day of my life, but you looked so happy, and that’s what matters most,” said Kenny in a scorched-earth attack, adding that while she probably would have done things differently when it came to music, food, dress, guest list, and cake, it was still very special because it was all about her. “After all, it wasn’t my wedding, and the most important thing is that you had a good time. And the whole thing was just so you! I can tell you really tried to make it your own.” At press time, Kenny had reportedly delivered a fatal kill shot to the wedding by adding that even though her daughter didn’t lose all the weight she had intended, she still looked “nice” in her dress.
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