Federal investigators executed a search warrant at the home and office of Rudy Giuliani, the former New York City mayor who led President Donald Trump’s legal team. The Onion examines the key findings federal investigators made in the search.
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Boxes of autographed Ground Zero pictures.
Go-bag filled with cash, a passport, and a one-way ticket to Staten Island.
Jar with unidentifiable liquid simply labeled “PROOF.”
All 13 works of art stolen from the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum in 1990.
Dozens of basic interior design mistakes.
Plans for his comeback involving a “second 9/11.”
Muffled screaming coming from the padlocked basement.
A sealed envelope reading “Urgent: Details of Imminent FBI Raid.”