House minority leader Kevin McCarthy, a California Republican, has recently come under fire for his role in allegedly obstructing the investigation of the January 6 Capitol riot. The Onion tells you what you need to know about McCarthy and the current controversy.
Q: Who is Kevin McCarthy?
A: The only minority anything that Republicans will listen to.
Q: What is he being accused of?
A: Forgetting to chat his colleagues in an Incognito window.
Q: What are his political convictions?
A: McCarthy would never answer such an obvious gotcha question.
Q: Why would he lie about some phone calls?
A: He doesn’t want anyone to know he’s friends with Liz Cheney.
Q: How can he possibly be expected to tell everyone the same thing when different people will like him or hate him depending on what he says?
A: Great point.
Q: What effect will his hypocritical behavior have?
A: It raises doubts as to his reliability in assisting the next attempted insurrection.
Q: What will Congress do to hold McCarthy accountable?
A: Asking questions you already know the answers to will only make you miserable.
Q: Is it true he inspired some of Kevin Spacey’s dialogue in House Of Cards?
A: Yes, McCarthy inspired the line where President Underwood says “We should hang Mike Pence.”
Q: Will being caught in a lie hurt his chances at reelection?
A: If things go according to plan, elections will soon be a thing of the past.