On January 5, Georgia voters will return to the polls to vote in runoff elections for both of the state’s Senate seats. The Onion answers the most pressing questions about the Georgia Senate runoffs.
Q: Why are there runoff elections?
A: Georgia state law requires a runoff when results indicate Black voters were insufficiently disenfranchised the first time around.
Q: Who are the candidates?
A: Four total losers who couldn’t win an election outright.
Q: Is there anything I should know about the candidates?
A: No, party affiliation is listed on the ballot.
Q: Why is turnout expected to be lower than in the general election?
A: With runoffs in January, Georgians may balk at waiting in line to vote when it’s a bone-chilling 70 degrees outside.
Q: What do the polls say?
A: Polls show a dead heat, so the Democrats can expect to lose by 6 to 10 points.
Q: Is the election secure?
A: That all depends on who wins.
Q: What happens if no candidate gets 50% of the vote again?
A: Georgia loses its Senate seats as punishment for being indecisive.
Q: What’s at stake?
A: Nothing. Regardless of outcome, Mitch McConnell will find a way to control every aspect of your life.