What To Know About The Recent ‘UFO’ Sightings

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Over the past several years, U.S. military members are among those reporting sightings of unexplained flying objects, and while the subject has long been subject to much controversy and ridicule, more experts are acknowledging that something strange is going on. The Onion provides answers to questions about the recent UFO sightings.

Q: Where are the majority of these UFOs being sighted?

A: The sky.

Q: Could they just be weather events?

A: No. In every instance, all clouds were accounted for and in their assigned places.


Q: Why the uptick in sightings?

A: Economists suggest that aliens have more disposable income than ever and can afford to travel.


Q: Is there any chance this is just instrument or pilot error?

A: Yes, but only an extremely likely one.

Q: Just how far up does this go?

A: Careful. A person could get hurt asking questions like that.

Q: Is it possible they were just military drones?

A: An interesting theory, but the sightings were nowhere near any Afghani weddings.


Q: How many series will the History Channel wring out of this?

A: 17.

Q: What should you do if you see a UFO?

A: Authorities recommend posting a shaky, rambling 90-minute video to your YouTube channel to document the encounter.


Q: Are we in any danger?

A: Tons, but mostly just from climate change, war, pollution, and the other usual stuff.