What To Say If You See A Coworker On Tinder

What To Say If You See A Coworker On Tinder

We may earn a commission from links on this page.
Image for article titled What To Say If You See A Coworker On Tinder

Coworkers should never be seen outside of work, and especially not on dating apps. If you have the misfortune of encountering a fellow employee on Tinder, here is what you should say.

Advertisement

“Someone is using your pictures on Tinder to make you look like a loser.”

“Someone is using your pictures on Tinder to make you look like a loser.”

Image for article titled What To Say If You See A Coworker On Tinder

It’s only polite to offer them a chance to save face before you humiliate them in front of the entire office.

Advertisement

“But what of your vows, sister?”

“But what of your vows, sister?”

Image for article titled What To Say If You See A Coworker On Tinder

If the onboarding process at your job involves taking any kind of vows of chastity, this would qualify as a direct conflict.

Advertisement

“Why are you on Tinder when I’ve been sexually harassing you for months?”

“Why are you on Tinder when I’ve been sexually harassing you for months?”

Image for article titled What To Say If You See A Coworker On Tinder

Rude people like this deserve to be confronted.

Advertisement

“I didn’t know you had a sex life outside of work.”

“I didn’t know you had a sex life outside of work.”

Image for article titled What To Say If You See A Coworker On Tinder

Turns out they fuck all kinds of places besides the break room.

Advertisement

“You look really fat and stupid in all these photos.”

“You look really fat and stupid in all these photos.”

Image for article titled What To Say If You See A Coworker On Tinder

Some lighthearted ribbing should defuse any awkwardness.

Advertisement

“So that’s why you needed me to take pics of you doing dumbbell squats in a bikini.”

“So that’s why you needed me to take pics of you doing dumbbell squats in a bikini.”

Image for article titled What To Say If You See A Coworker On Tinder

Wasn’t a total waste of your lunch break after all.

Advertisement

“I need you to work late next week.”

“I need you to work late next week.”

Image for article titled What To Say If You See A Coworker On Tinder

It’s a lot easier to tell them this online than in person.

Advertisement

“Oh, so you’re willing to hook up with strangers but not your overbearing boss!”

“Oh, so you’re willing to hook up with strangers but not your overbearing boss!”

Image for article titled What To Say If You See A Coworker On Tinder

This type of hypocrisy from your employees is unacceptable.

Advertisement

“I’m going to tell HR you have desires of the flesh.”

“I’m going to tell HR you have desires of the flesh.”

Image for article titled What To Say If You See A Coworker On Tinder

As a sexless worker drone, it’s important you sniff out those who would impair the workflow with their carnal needs.

Advertisement

“I shall not know you in life; nor shall I know you in death.”

“I shall not know you in life; nor shall I know you in death.”

Image for article titled What To Say If You See A Coworker On Tinder

And ignore them in person as always.

Advertisement

“If we combine our hourly pay, we might be able to afford a steak dinner by next weekend.”

“If we combine our hourly pay, we might be able to afford a steak dinner by next weekend.”

Image for article titled What To Say If You See A Coworker On Tinder

Since you both know you don’t make enough for a meal at a nice restaurant, discuss options ahead of time.

Advertisement

“Oh my God, I had no idea you were craving a no-strings-attached deep-dicking that would leave your pussy sopping wet and begging for more!”

“Oh my God, I had no idea you were craving a no-strings-attached deep-dicking that would leave your pussy sopping wet and begging for more!”

Image for article titled What To Say If You See A Coworker On Tinder

It’s amazing how you can work with someone for years and not know these basic aspects of their personal life.

Advertisement

“Nudes.”

“Nudes.”

Image for article titled What To Say If You See A Coworker On Tinder

It’s technically not sexual harassment if you don’t end with a question mark.

Advertisement

“What do you do for work?”

“What do you do for work?”

Image for article titled What To Say If You See A Coworker On Tinder

Always good to play it cool and show interest in their lives.

Advertisement

“I preferred you under fluorescent lighting.”

“I preferred you under fluorescent lighting.”

Image for article titled What To Say If You See A Coworker On Tinder

This is really a compliment if you think about it.

Advertisement

“I know where you spend 10 hours a day!”

“I know where you spend 10 hours a day!”

Image for article titled What To Say If You See A Coworker On Tinder

While true, not a great way to start a conversation.

Advertisement

“I stole 500 pens from the office, and I plan to sell them for an extremely small profit. You want in?”

“I stole 500 pens from the office, and I plan to sell them for an extremely small profit. You want in?”

Image for article titled What To Say If You See A Coworker On Tinder

Entrepreneurship is all about taking any opportunity you can to network.

Advertisement

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

Image for article titled What To Say If You See A Coworker On Tinder

Can’t go wrong with a classic!

Advertisement

You’ve Made It This Far...

You’ve Made It This Far...

Insane Things That Everyone Who Uses Dating Apps Has Experienced

Red Flags To Clock The Second You Start Dating

Biggest Reasons Not To Sleep With A Coworker

Back To Homepage

Advertisement