What To Say If You Want To Dump Your Therapist

It’s a bit extreme, but your therapist can’t be that good if she didn’t see the warning signs.

This excuse is extremely plausible and prevents hurt feelings.

Best to focus on one relationship at a time.

Or whatever. It’s an email. You weren’t seriously going to do this shit in person, were you?

If a patient has ignored all of your advice, what more can a therapist ask for?

Just keep it chill.

It’s always smart to bookend bad news with a compliment.

Your therapist will just assume you died in a brave act of selfless defense of the nation.

This won’t be the first time you’ve lied to your therapist.

Soften the blow by casually inserting the breakup in a much longer history of Brach’s Confections.

Sometimes it’s easier to just stop showing up and then ignore all their calls. If you haven’t overcome your fear of confrontation by now, that’s kind of on them.

Your therapist can only dream.

Good to leave the door open. 

Maybe they can refer you to a clinician with psychic abilities.

Say no more. Hell, you could be their therapist now.

Once you are of the royal House of Tudor, your troubles will cease.

Plans change, and mental health professions need to know that and be flexible.

Trading up for an MD will definitely hit ‘em right where it hurts.

It’d be really gross of them to challenge the integrity of a fallen soldier.

They’re not going to let you turn the tables on them, or if they do, at least you’ll be getting paid.

Sounds like the cause of all your emotional traumas is taken care of! 

Time to find out whether all that advice to be honest and direct about your needs was real.

Honesty is the best policy.