What To Say To Someone Who Is Saving Themselves For Marriage

Hide your judgment by pretending this is a normal and sane thing to do.

Ominously pointing out that Jesus Christ never got to bang and ended up being crucified might be just what they need to hear.

Never hurts to remind them how lame they are.

Even if they aren’t sexually active, other people and the media have been sexualizing them against their will for longer than they may realize.

They’ll find it very helpful when you discuss your signature bedroom move, the Wildcat Special, in vivid detail.

Let the scullery maids talk and let we two occupy our lips with more pressing matters.

Management doesn’t take kindly to misallocation of per diem funds.

Even chaste kids disappoint their parents.

I mean, no use in them just sitting there, going bad.

They will appreciate your knowledge of God’s sacred vision.

This little life hack has preserved the chastity of thousands.

Let them know how much effort you put in to make the night romantic.

Sorry, it’s in the Bible.

Problem solved.

Try to relate to them.

The loose morals of the under-65 generation is appalling.

It’s best to support their decision by reminding them how inconsequential it is.

The Almighty must smile every time He thinks about their dong or vag.

Saving themselves for marriage isn’t much of a sacrifice if they aren’t tempted at least once.

It’s not the most elegant way to ask someone to marry you, but it gets the job done.