
Deciding not to become a parent is a deeply personal choice, but for some, it’s also the perfect excuse to start a loud and dumb conversation. If someone asks you why you don’t have kids, this is exactly what you should say.
Deciding not to become a parent is a deeply personal choice, but for some, it’s also the perfect excuse to start a loud and dumb conversation. If someone asks you why you don’t have kids, this is exactly what you should say.
2 / 20
Unless they’re a doctor, chances are they’re not going to want to hear about all your messed-up holes and tubes.
3 / 20
Many people don’t know it but clumsiness during in-vitro fertilization is actually the number-one cause of infertility in humans.
4 / 20
No matter what, they’ll have to respect your devotion to religion.
5 / 20
Everyone knows that someone asking why you don’t have kids is really just a polite way of asking for your thoughts on the Denver Broncos.
6 / 20
A lot of people are completely unaware that the optimal time for birthing children is between April and August.
7 / 20
People forget that it’s pretty easy to miss your partner’s vagina during intercourse while trying to conceive if you don’t know how to aim or where to put it.
8 / 20
Just hope they didn’t take biology in high school or else they may call you out on your bluff.
9 / 20
If you’re fortunate enough to be Casey Anthony, you will never have to answer this question.
10 / 20
Self-explanatory.
11 / 20
Anyone will appreciate and respect the empathy and thoughtfulness of this answer.
12 / 20
The point of having a kid is to post every waking moment of their life on Instagram, so if you don’t have a profile, there’s not much use to bringing new life into this world.
13 / 20
A bit of an overshare but should prevent any further questions into your personal life.
14 / 20
Then pull several children from your top hat to the delight of everyone watching.
15 / 20
You can never think too far ahead when it comes to family planning.
16 / 20
No one wants to have sex after a big sloppy meatball sub.
17 / 20
Most parents will egregiously bet on a three of a kind on the turn and then lose to a full house.
18 / 20
This will rattle anyone who asks, making them instantly regret bringing up such a sensitive topic.
19 / 20
This simple answer allows you to exit the conversation and pretend to sprint away, screaming for your unattended child.
20 / 20