Unless you are a necrophiliac, it’s only natural to wonder what your partner is thinking during intercourse. Here are several common thoughts everyone has in the bedroom.
“How would I resolve The Trolley Problem?”
They may be moaning, but there’s a good chance they’re pondering the famous thought experiment and whether they’d directly sacrifice the life of one person to save five.
“Oh my God, this is fucking amazing!”
Your partner’s thinking about a brisket sandwich they once had.
“But what ever will the Duke think?”
While amorous, should the Duke learn of this transgression it would throw all of the province into turmoil.
“Do I call him Billy? Billy-Bob? Or Mr. Thornton?”
Ideally, this would be discussed pre-coitus.
“Now that they’re lulled into a false sense of security, my interstellar armada should attack.”
Never underestimate the element of surprise.
“Wow! My partner is the best at sex!”
It’s technically possible that they’re thinking this.
“I absolutely do not like the look that sand tiger shark is giving us.”
Yeah, you probably shouldn’t have proposed sex at an aquarium.
“There’s no way that this makes babies.”
Seriously, what are the odds sticking that in there could make another human?
“I think my parents did this too.”
Yep. They boned without protection in the back of a Camaro.
“Man, J.K. Simmons was absolutely chilling in Oz.”
People rightfully talk about the actor’s performance in Whiplash, but that doesn’t compare to his role as Nazi inmate Vernon Schillinger.
“This is what they do in porn.”
Several minutes of quiet kissing and missionary.
“If any continent still had dinosaurs that survived extinction, it has to be South America.”
It’s a big if, but there are still parts of Chile that are very isolated and remain untouched by human civilization.
“I’d rather be having sex in Duluth, MN.”
Wouldn’t we all?
“Where did they learn how to do that?”
You’ve been working hard on practicing juggling, and doing it during sex is sure to surprise your partner.
“I am hungry for a McDonald’s Filet-o-Fish and I hope I get one before this is over.”
Unfortunately, delivery drivers aren’t always fast enough to get there before you ejaculate.
“My seventh-grade Spanish teacher was kinda hot.”
Whatever it takes to get there, ya know?
“This is so nice of me.”
Ninety-nine percent of the time, people having sex with you are just taking pity on you.
“I have a medium to average sex partner right now.”
Good for you!
“Is this the one that likes a finger up their ass or the one who hates it?”