Though the average American generates 4.3 pounds of trash per day, few people know what happens to their garbage once they throw it out. The Onion breaks down the steps involved in the surprisingly complex process of waste disposal and management:


STEP 1

Nation opts to buy new one instead of fixing old one


STEP 2

Garbage truck takes circuitous path to landfill in order to shake any undercover reporters on its tail

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STEP 3

Contents of neighborhood recycling program mixed in


STEP 4

Entire staff of waste management facility stops what they’re doing to watch trash compactor do its thing

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STEP 5

This week’s haul joins previous loads in your ancestral landfill plot


STEP 6

Seagulls go fucking nuts


STEP 7

Trash from Renaissance era finishes decomposing


STEP 8

Everything given time to really marinate in its juices before slipping below the water table

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STEP 9

Americans spend weekend shopping

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