WASHINGTON—After letting out a sigh of apparent exasperation, outgoing White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki took a pointed tone during Monday’s briefing when she asked a reporter chanting “Kill, kill, kill” if he had an actual question for her. “Is there an inquiry relevant to the Biden administration’s current policies, sir?” Psaki said as the foam-mouthed reporter’s eyes rolled back in his head and he screamed “Blood! Blood now!” while scrambling over other members of the press corps in a frenzied rush toward the podium. “I’m happy to answer any question you’d like about the Russia-Ukraine conflict or the release of oil reserves, but ‘The impure among us will suffer unspeakable agony!’ is not a hypothetical I’m going to entertain. Similarly, the White House has not issued an official position on whether the filthy stain of the unrighteous can only be cleansed in an ocean of blood. Let’s move on.” Sources confirmed Psaki also dodged inquiries from the reporter about whether she approved of him eating her bones.
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