Retired neurosurgeon and rising conservative star Ben Carson announced his bid for the presidency Monday, the first African-American candidate of either major political party to do so. Here’s what you need to know about the Republican candidate:
- Preferred Title: Dr. President Carson
- Birthplace: Successfully overcome
- Biggest Political Liability: Has admitted to cutting people’s bodies open with scalpel
- Minority Appeal: You would think so, but no
- First Thing He Does Each Morning: Decides whether to be gay or straight for next 24 hours
- Likely Placement In Primary Debates: Halfway in frame on right side of screen
- Nightmare: Getting arms, legs entangled in huge social safety net
- Special Ability: Can flatten taxes with bare hands
- Fun Fact: It technically possible that this individual might be president someday