WHO Walks Back Claim That Covid-19 Can Only Be Transmitted Through Locking Eyes With One True Love

Illustration for article titled WHO Walks Back Claim That Covid-19 Can Only Be Transmitted Through Locking Eyes With One True Love

GENEVA—Acknowledging the comment had been based on results from only two or three studies, the World Health Organization walked back an earlier claim Wednesday that Covid-19 could only be transmitted among humans via one person locking eyes with another who is their one true love. “Preliminary data indicated the virus could only be spread from person to person when two eternal soul mates were gazing into each other’s eyes beneath the light of the moon,” said WHO director-general Tedros Adhanom, explaining that new evidence suggests doing a quick double-take at someone out of mere animal attraction carries the same risk of transmission as a moment shared by two great lovers destined for lifelong romance. “We are now seeing young and otherwise healthy individuals showing symptoms after simply entertaining the thought that a passing stranger they made eye contact with had a nice face, for instance, indicating that even discreetly checking out another person may increase the likelihood of contracting coronavirus, regardless of whether that person is one’s missing half in this world. As a result, we are now recommending that in any public space where one could conceivably encounter attractive people, a blindfold be worn at all times.” Adhanom went on to clarify that making out was still a safe activity to participate in so long as the parties involved kept their eyes closed throughout.

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