Here is a guide to the major speakers who will be addressing attendees on the first night of the 2016 Republican National Convention:
Rick Perry (Former Governor, Texas)
His brief, failed presidential bid provided the perfect blueprint for how Donald Trump’s campaign should rightfully have gone
Marcus Luttrell (Retired U.S. Navy SEAL)
The first of 19 scheduled RNC speakers who have taken another human being’s life
Mark Geist (Retired U.S. Marine)
Managed to elude Hillary Clinton’s targeted missile attack on the U.S. embassy in Benghazi
Antonio Sabato Jr. (Actor, Model)
Will be speaking inaudibly in the background of many cable news networks’ analysis of the convention so far
Jeff Sessions (Senator, Alabama)
The longtime lawmaker is particularly terrifying, having supported Trump before he even had to
Rudy Giuliani (Former Mayor, New York City)
His experience presiding over chaotic disasters that had previously been unthinkable renders him uniquely qualified to appear at this year’s RNCs
Melania Trump (Wife Of Donald Trump)
Melania’s speech is rumored to contain a heartwarming, romantic anecdote about the first time the presidential candidate pointed at her and said “That one”
Michael Flynn (Retired Lt. Gen., U.S. Army)
The former director of the Defense Intelligence Agency will lend legitimacy to Trump’s claim that we need to bomb the hell out of them
Joni Ernst (Senator, Iowa)
Will lead the audience in the night’s seventh and final singing of the national anthem