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Why Westerners Join ISIS

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With more than 150 Americans accused of attempting to fight alongside ISIS in Syria and countless young Europeans allegedly joining or supporting the terrorist group, many are left wondering what a population of extremists has to offer Westerners a world away. Here are some reasons these people might want to ally with ISIS:

  • Guaranteed job placement in fast-paced, high-growth field of applied bloodlust
  • Guy from message board seems like he knows eternal paradise when he sees it
  • Chance for adolescents to rebel against stringent anti-burning-people-alive upbringing
  • No more kowtowing to museum guards who tell you not to bulldoze ancient artifacts
  • Once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to be part of the creative team behind massively successful viral video content
  • Khmer Rouge no longer taking applications
  • Overwhelming desire for the order, structure, and sense of purpose that stoning homosexuals to death provides
  • General dearth of heavy weaponry lying around U.S., Western Europe
  • Pretty easy way to become famous, all things considered