Winnie-The-Pooh, the A.A. Milne series featuring a stuffed bear and his toy animal friends, debuted 90 years ago this week. Here are some milestones from the franchise’s nearly century-long run:
1926
Noted English author A.A. Milne plagiarizes beloved British children’s book Winston The Proper Plaything For Young Lads
1926-2016
Eeyore, the introspective donkey, quickly becomes a favorite among readers who are sad pieces of shit that everybody hates
1928
Critics blast sequel The House At Pooh Corner as a derivative retread that fails to develop Owl and Roo
1956
Milne passes away before having a chance to witness the full extent of his characters’ commercialized mutation
1961
Acquisition by Walt Disney Productions the only reason you’ve heard of any of this at all
1985
Last heffalump dies in captivity
1995
Parent advocacy groups demand at least one heterosexual character be added to Winnie-the-Pooh’s circle of friends
2003
Piglet’s Big Movie, despite grossing $63 million worldwide, somehow not remotely the most successful movie to star a pig
2004-2011
Franchise kept alive exclusively through Aunt Lisa’s sweatshirt collection
2026
Many children continue to dislike reading