‘Woke’ Brands True Patriots Should Never Purchase

The doll company doesn’t sell a single dress that fits an AR-15.

Sends American packages to foreign countries.

Yep, them too. Guess you’re going to find somewhere else to stream Gay Chorus Deep South.

There’s just something suspiciously homosexual about that long-haired white cat.

Patented recipe contains puberty blockers.

Integrated.

All trusted reporters should have strong American names like John Washington or Walter Building.

A Black man was seen buying a box of Cheez-Its here. Doesn’t get any woker than that.

A cylinder is the wokest shape.

This disgusting brand destroys family values by promoting the idea that women should be allowed to get caught up in pyramid schemes.

The fast-fashion retailer offers equal abuse for all its sweatshop workers.

The NFL boldly celebrated LGBTQ+ History Month, and the organization’s continued support of domestic violence just isn’t enough to make up for it.

The Marvel film franchise has recently introduced the concept of the multiverse, even though a universe should only be between one man and one woman according to the Bible.

What happened to all of the good old-fashioned cis-national banks?

True patriots do not dress their burgers with woke condiments like ketchup, but with the blood of freshly slaughtered antifa.

Real red-blooded American men meet their wives while prowling outside local high schools.

Gun woke? No, no, no, gun can’t be woke… No! Gun good, right? RIGHT? Gun not woke, please… PLEASE say gun not woke… GUN. NOT. WOKE????

What kind of modern hedonists don’t believe in serving chicken on the holiest of days?

All medical practice has been infiltrated by the deep state since the 5th century BC, when Hippocrates established the profession of diagnosing and treating illnesses in order to emasculate real men.

True patriots will refuse to eat Subway sandwiches until alpha king Jared Fogle is released from jail.

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