
ANDOVER, MA—Explaining that the only way she could get people to stop hitting on her was to pretend she was married, local woman Carla Watters told reporters Thursday she always wore a fake wedding dress to bars to deter unwanted advances. “Before, men would harass me constantly, but now that I can just flash them my long white ball gown, they get the message immediately,” said Watters, who added that it was extremely easy to go online and buy a convincing imitation wedding dress, veil, and detachable overskirt that she could slip on at a moments notice. “It’s great. The second they notice I’m wearing about 30 pounds of bridal couture complete with lace, corset, and a tiara, they apologize and tell me they had no idea I had a husband. Plus, it was so cheap compared to the real thing. It only cost me like $1,500.” At press time, Watters could not be reached for comment, as a man had cornered her and repeatedly assured her he didn’t care that she was currently being walked down the aisle.