ARTHUR, IL—Reflecting on the two-day trip to her partner’s hometown with an equal mixture of disgust, awe, and confusion, local woman Melissa Longworth reportedly described visiting her boyfriend’s lower-class family Tuesday like she was on some type of foreign exchange program. “It was such an eye-opening yet beautiful experience, and now that I’ve lived how they live, I really think I look at the world a little differently,” said Longworth, who, speaking as if she had just returned from a junior-year semester abroad, added that it was almost impossible to understand how her boyfriend’s family all lived in the same three-bedroom house and didn’t do things like brunch, SoulCycle, or spa days. “At first, it was really hard to understand them, but eventually we figured out a way to communicate. They get these donuts from the gas station that they eat all the time, which look like donuts but aren’t actually donuts. I can’t believe they really eat like that. Thank God they at least had McDonald’s.” At press time, Longworth told reporters how humbling it was to finally return home after she caught some nasty food poisoning, went to the hospital, and had her wealthy parents fly her back.