TUSCALOOSA, AL—Stressing that such ways of thinking helped keep her difficulties in check, local woman Audrey Leonard told reporters Wednesday that all of her current hardships were only preparing her to one day give up completely. “Yeah, things are tough right now, but it’s important to remember that all of the challenges I’m facing are really just getting me ready for some point in the future when I actually hit rock bottom and just decide ‘Fuck it, why am I even trying?’” said Leonard, noting that as much as she stressed out about the combined forces of the pandemic, a strained relationship with her boyfriend, and the overall listless feeling in her life, they could ultimately just been be seen as stepping stones on the way towards a far more debilitating collapse from which she had no hope of recovering. “It’s really just a matter of perspective. After all, if you keep fixating on the little problems, you’ll never be ready for that moment when you finally figure enough’s enough with fighting against all of life’s pressures and frustrations and just let the whole disappointing world steamroll over you.” Leonard added that she had learned these lessons from her great grandmother who used her crushing experience living through the Great Depression and Spanish Flu to entirely give up on living by her early 30s.
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