Illustration for article titled Woman Only Willing To Learn New Things In Settings Called Boot Camp

SAN FRANCISCO—Noting how she refuses to take the initiative to engage in unfamiliar activities or expand her horizons in any other context, sources reported Friday that local woman Margot Davis is only willing to learn new things in settings called “boot camp.” “I just did this great one, Pasta-Making Boot Camp; we learned all about different types of pasta for a day and got to eat the pasta we made at the end of the class,” said Davis, who mentioned that she had also recently completed Crocheting Boot Camp and Résumé-Writing Boot Camp, and that she was looking forward to the upcoming Pie and Tart Boot Camp, each of which, sources confirmed, offered the one and only type of environment in which the 27-year-old would ever endeavor to gain new abilities. “After all that pasta, I definitely needed to sign up for the week-long Core Training Boot Camp at my gym. They really work you hard, but it was just what I was looking for.” At press time, Davis had politely declined an invitation from a friend to attend a weekly 12-session pottery course at a local studio, saying that it just didn’t sound like it was for her.


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