ST. LOUIS—Suspicious of the woman’s “meteoric” lateral movement, sources reported Wednesday that Erin Cioci, an employee at a local consulting firm, had shamelessly slept her way across the corporate ladder. “In less than six months, she’s moved from an entry-level position in finance all the way over to an entry-level position in communications—so, yeah, let’s just say there’s no way she got there on merit,” said a coworker of Cioci who spoke on condition of anonymity, blasting the 29-year-old public relations assistant as a “power-hungry hussy” whose depravity apparently knew no limits. “She’ll do whatever and whoever it takes to maintain a middling, dead-end position at this company. Who knows what’s next for that skank? I’ve seen her batting her little eyes at men in the customer service department, so don’t be surprised if she winds up with a cushy call center job next.” At press time, sources added that Cioci must be fucking some guy in the state unemployment office, because she had just been laid off.