Woman Sporting Sandal Tan Must Have Just Returned From Weekend Aboard $35 Million Yacht Off Coast Of Ibiza

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LOS ANGELES—Gawking at the woman’s feet with a mixture of awe and envy, sources confirmed Wednesday that local 30-year-old Emma Price’s sandal tan lines must mean she just returned from a weekend aboard a $35 million yacht off the coast of Ibiza. “Ooh la la, clearly someone had a crazy weekend partying with supermodels and international sports stars,” said coworker Whitney Gonzalez, who was just one of several gathered onlookers speculating that the white streaks visible on Price’s otherwise tanned feet could be only the result of the woman popping Dom Pérignon champagne bottles on one of the vessel’s six different decks all weekend long. “Those are the marks of a billionaire heiress, plain and simple. Or she’s probably having an affair with a Russian oligarch—or most likely both. I hope she’s not too exhausted from the private jet ride home.” At press time, sources were devastated after learning Price had acquired the tan lines from spending the weekend volunteering with the homeless.