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America's Finest News Source.

World’s Oldest Decapitation Unearthed

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Archaeologists digging in Brazil have unearthed a disembodied skull dating back 9,000 years, suggesting that ritual decapitation of community members was a custom deeply rooted in early hunter-gatherer culture, though the evidence suggests that the head was was only removed after death as a burial rite. What do you think?


“I bet they’d be awestruck by our modern burial methods of either boxing them up or burning them.”

Blaine Jacobs • Shark Tagger

“This discovery couldn’t come at a better time for my band in need of an album cover.”

Gary Donaghy • Viral Blogger

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“I wonder when we decided that ripping the heads off was just too much work.”

Amanda Woolin • Benefits Coordinator