Worst Things To Tell Someone Who’s Retiring

While this person has exhausted their usefulness to the world, you have to at least pretend they are still important for the next decade.

This person already wasted their life working as an IT consultant. Don’t push them into wasting their retirement, too.

This was in 2014, too, when the writing was on the wall.

What the fuck else are they supposed to do with their time?

Sometimes it’s better to just say nothing at all and let them enjoy their last 72 hours in blissful ignorance.

It would have been nice to clue them in to the upcoming disappearance of their savings before they put in their two weeks’ notice.

It’s not polite to ask such a loaded question.

They’ll find out soon enough. No need to rub it in.

Come on, you’re torturing them. They’ve got a wife and kids now. That was all behind them. Still, it does sound intriguing. Atlantic City, you said?

Oof. Common mistake. Don’t say this!

Sometimes an intended compliment can come off as anything but.

Sure, Tracy will quickly get tired of having him all the time, but you can easily woo her on the sly.

There’s already a “Happy Retirement” banner and a cake. What more could you want?

The world becoming unrecognizable to our elderly is hard enough as it is without you twisting the knife on their way out.

Way to ruin it.

Do not remind a new retiree that they have nothing to look forward to.

Most people who have just retired are still figuring out which facility they’d like to wither away in.

The bullet to the head will say enough. No need to be too on-the-nose about it.

Thirty-five-year-olds can be wealthy, too.