Worst Things We Spilled On Our Shirt In 2016

12/15/16 6:00AM

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Queso Dip: Stupid tortilla chip broke and fell straight down onto our chest.

Spicy Mustard: Didn’t discover it until it had dried. Walked around like a goddamn idiot all afternoon.

Mayonnaise: Thank fucking God this blended in okay, because we were not going home to change.

Marinara Sauce: Ugh, this was fucking awful. Rubbing at it only made it worse.

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Soy Sauce: God, right down the middle of our shirt. Just fucking great.

Cocktail Sauce: Couldn’t even get it out, so it completely ruined our shirt. That was a good shirt, too. Goddammit!

Something Reddish?: Not even sure what this was, but when we took our shirt off at the end of the day, there it fucking was.

Marinara Sauce Again: For fuck’s sake!

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Slice Of Sausage-And-Pepper Pizza: The whole damn hunk of cheese slid off the slice onto our shirt. God, we’re stupid.

Prosecco: Actually, this dried, and it didn’t look terrible.

Toothpaste: The fucking intern pointed it out in the middle of the sales meeting.

Water: Sure, it came out no problem, but we don’t think we need to tell you that sitting through half of Zootopia with half a sopping-wet shirt really sucks.

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