Teachers have a hard enough job as it is dealing with your shitty kids without throwing yourself into the mix. Here are the worst things you as a parent can say to your child’s teacher.
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2 / 20
“Why’d you make my idiot kid feel good about himself?”
“Why’d you make my idiot kid feel good about himself?”
No teacher wants to be taken to task for helping boost a struggling student’s self-esteem even if they are, in fact, a real fucking dummy.
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3 / 20
“You aren’t bullying them enough.”
“You aren’t bullying them enough.”
Unfortunately, class sizes prevent teachers from causing mental and emotional duress equally to every student.
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4 / 20
“You’re my son’s favorite teacher in the whole school.”
“You’re my son’s favorite teacher in the whole school.”
Everyone’s been gunning to belittle Ricky Perillo’s number, and this will just put a target on their back.
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5 / 20
“Did you see the latest episode of Billions?”
“Did you see the latest episode of Billions?”
You know damn well teachers don’t make enough to afford Showtime subscriptions, so stop rubbing it in.
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6 / 20
“How can you teach my child when you’re not even in kindergarten yourself?”
“How can you teach my child when you’re not even in kindergarten yourself?”
The fact is you can be an excellent kindergarten teacher whether you’re 4 or 40.
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7 / 20
“I had a tough time with that homework assignment.”
“I had a tough time with that homework assignment.”
Uh-oh! The jig is up. You had a good thing going. God, why couldn’t you keep your big mouth shut?
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8 / 20
“That vape you confiscated was technically mine.”
“That vape you confiscated was technically mine.”
This will only further lower their opinion of you.
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9 / 20
“How come you’re not using the biology textbook I wrote?”
“How come you’re not using the biology textbook I wrote?”
It’s likely going to take real scientists a few years to fact-check the 800 pages of “new biology” you hammered out in a single sitting
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10 / 20
“Why is my child still using an outdated Moligandi épée defense when modern fencing has moved well past that?”
“Why is my child still using an outdated Moligandi épée defense when modern fencing has moved well past that?”
Look, teachers don’t set the curriculum.
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11 / 20
“I’m taking my child’s spot in the school play.”
“I’m taking my child’s spot in the school play.”
They don’t care that it’s tough getting work in L.A. and that it takes someone with a theatre degree from Juilliard to accurately bring Frosty the Snowman to life.
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12 / 20
“When are they ever going to use this in real life?”
“When are they ever going to use this in real life?”
No one knows better than teachers that this shit is pointless, so maybe just don’t rub it in, ok?
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13 / 20
“Have you tried beating the insolence out of my child?”
“Have you tried beating the insolence out of my child?”
Of course they have, that’s Teaching 101.
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14 / 20
“I didn’t realize you had a second job outside of the bar.”
“I didn’t realize you had a second job outside of the bar.”
Not everyone is lucky enough to have a partner who financially carries their indigent ass.
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15 / 20
“You are my child.”
“You are my child.”
Unless you come with notarized adoption papers in hand, this is bound to confuse the teacher more than anything.
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16 / 20
“I hate what happened on the Challenger.”
“I hate what happened on the Challenger.”
Thank you, we should hope so.
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17 / 20
“You’re just a stock photo model, what do you know about teaching?”
“You’re just a stock photo model, what do you know about teaching?”
Alright, busted.
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18 / 20
“I think teachers should be paid more.”
“I think teachers should be paid more.”
Don’t say this unless you’re initiating a bribe since there’s no reality where teachers will get paid fairly.
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19 / 20
“I swear I’ll get you the rest of the money by the end of the week.”
“I swear I’ll get you the rest of the money by the end of the week.”
Never put educators in the tough spot of having to teach both your child and you a lesson.
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