Not to point fingers, but if you were born between 1946 and 1964, you might have had a hand in ruining the world for every single generation that will ever be born after you. Here are the worst ways that baby boomers screwed over millennials.
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This has been preventing millennials from entering all sorts of jobs, ranging from business executives to U.S. senator representing the great state of Kansas.
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And don’t trot out Rep. Joe Kennedy like he’s the new RFK, because we know he ain’t.
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They assumed folks had good interest at heart.
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With home prices soaring all over the world, the Millennial dream of saving up and one day buying Hugh Hefner’s former party pad is now sadly out of reach.
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How many millions of children could have opened their third eye if the hippies hadn’t made it appear that one tab of acid would make them board a flower-painted school bus they could never leave?
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The greatest generation would have never hoarded Beatles releases, and they damn well know it.
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Cool tar-free lung you’ve got there, boomer.
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Eighty million dollars for The Postman two years after Waterworld flopped, but America can’t afford the Green New Deal?
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Despite what your parents may have told you, $70,000 of debt surprisingly does not improve one’s quality of life.
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This 1980’s Diane Keaton vehicle was damaging to female millennials who thought they too could easily quit their corporate job to move to Vermont to become a small business owner and a single mom with an active dating life.
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Baby boomers had a whopping 82 letters they could use to spell and say millions of words that no longer exist for their poor, vocabulary starved children.
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It can be difficult to find a new job or save for a home when you know there might be a boomer under your stairs or in your closet, ready to pounce the moment you let your guard down.
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Unlike every generation before them, boomers declined to fill their pockets with stones and walk beyond the waves on their 67th birthday.
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Millennials were left with nothing but Sharknado and the catastrophe that was The Meg.
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By practicing the forbidden magics, boomers have held on to wealth, property and power in a never-ending state of undeath.
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That Arctic deep-ice expedition was a disaster.
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If they were planning on dying, the least they could have done was leave a note.
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The boomers’ most egregious fuckup was getting married and bearing children that would have to witness and inherit the world they built.
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