MORRISTOWN, NJ—Warning that if you pass the high school you should just keep going because this way is actually quicker, local man Zach Bishop told sources Wednesday that you “want to take three quick lefts” while expertly hiding that he fucked up his directions. “You want to turn on Budd and then Searing, then quick another quick left on Western,” said Bishop, rapidly and smoothly correcting after realizing he had given the wrong gas station as a landmark to look out for. “Turning left there is always tough, plus I think you have fewer lights, so it’s way faster. It seems weird to go past the park, but you have to loop around to get back that way because of the dead end. Just don’t turn right at the deli because then you’ll just have to make a U-turn.” At press time, Bishop was condemning how unreliable technology had become after Google Maps suggested just turning right at the gas station.