BRISTOL, CT—Remarking how he looked exactly like her late husband when they were in high school, local mother Janet Greene told her son Friday that his dad would be “so proud of him” as she adjusted his condom before prom. “Son, I know it’s hard, but your dad is watching over you right now and is looking down on you from heaven wearing his old Trojan ultra thin and smiling,” said Greene, who helped her son roll the condom up his penis, made sure it was secure, and snapped dozens of photos before giving her son a long, heartfelt embrace. “God, it’s crazy, but seeing you in his old rubber, you really are the spitting image. I know he can’t be here physically, but seeing you in the exact same protection he wore when we were together, I can feel his spirit. Anytime you miss him, just grab your genitals. He’ll be there with you all night.” At press time, Greene could be seen applying lube to her late husband’s old condom and quickly patching up a hole her son had found at the base.
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